In a context in which divorces are the order of the day and the duration of marriages and engagements is increasingly shorter, it is essential to pay attention to the signs that indicate the existence of problems between couples. Experts explain what they are and when it is advisable to go to couples therapy to try to find a solution.
Couple relationships usually go through different stages, and it is not always possible to maintain an emotional balance and harmony, experts stress. For psychologists this is not a serious problem, however, when problems become recurrent or distances are generated that are difficult to overcome, it is advisable to seek help from a professional. Couples therapy can be a key tool in these cases, such as the couples therapy in Barcelona offered by ProyectoART, which is aimed at improving communication, resolving differences and strengthening the relationship, as long as it is not doomed to failure. To prevent this from happening, according to the sector, it is essential to detect the main signs of what is going wrong in the relationship and seek a solution as soon as possible, so that the problems do not intensify. They explain that the time to seek help is to identify them and emphasize that among the most common problems is the lack of communication.
But it is not the only thing, also the presence of constant and unresolved arguments, lack of intimacy and affection, loss of respect or empathy, serious trust problems (including infidelities), feeling of crisis and constant thoughts of separation and other external problems that affect the relationship.
Less and less talk and no attempt to solve the problems
Communication is often the first thing to change in a couple experiencing problems, say psychologists. It can be affected in two ways: on one hand, there is a lack of communication and couples talk less and less frequently, and on the other hand, it becomes negative with dialogues that regularly end in arguments, misunderstandings or uncomfortable silences. In these cases, therapy helps to reestablish a healthy and effective dialogue.
Constant arguments, more and more frequent
Another of the main signs is the presence of arguments that generally become very frequent and intense and usually do not reach any solution. This is the sign that there is a deep problem, according to the sector. Although they clarify that all couples have disagreements and can argue at specific moments, the problem, they reiterate, appears when the conversations turn into a battle without resolution.
Lack of intimacy and affection
Lack of intimacy and affection often go hand in hand with couple problems. Generally, the emotional and physical connection that existed decreases significantly. This translates, according to professionals, into a lack of interest in the couple, as well as a decrease in physical contact -including sexual relations-, and a disinterest in sharing time together. These are warning signs that should not be ignored, they say. It is also common to perceive that spending time together is an obligation rather than a pleasure.
Loss of respect and empathy for the partner
Apart from having constant arguments, a clear and unequivocal sign that the couple’s relationship is failing is the appearance of insults and disqualifications in conversations. Respect and empathy, professionals emphasize, are fundamental in any couple, as well as in any relationship, whatever type it may be.
Serious trust issues
Problems and complications in the couple can be caused by many reasons or lead to other actions that are equally damaging, such as cheating. And this generates an important loss of trust, the basis of a solid relationship. Most professionals agree that if this is broken by lies, secrets or infidelity it is usually difficult to recover, without help and with the help of a professional, although it is not impossible.
Constant feeling of crisis and separation as the only solution
Many times one of the parties feels that something is not right, but the other does not perceive it in the same way. If one of the two feels that the relationship has changed in a negative way, it is advisable to go to therapy to analyze what is happening and how to solve it. Likewise, when the idea of ending the relationship is recurrent, but at the same time there are doubts about whether it is the right thing to do, it is a clear sign that something is not working as it should. Sometimes, emotions can cloud decision making, and it is difficult to differentiate whether separation is the best option or if there are still salvageable aspects of the relationship. Couples therapy offers a neutral space where both parties can express their feelings without judgment, analyze the causes of the estrangement, and explore whether there is a possibility of rebuilding the relationship or whether a conscious and respectful separation is best.
Other external problems affecting the couple
External problems can have a significant impact on the couple’s relationship, even when the connection between the couple is strong. Factors such as work stress, economic pressure, family conflicts or the arrival of a child can generate tensions that, if not properly managed, affect communication and coexistence. Often these problems do not originate in the couple, but end up being reflected in the couple through arguments, misunderstandings and a growing emotional distance. Work stress can cause one or both partners to arrive home exhausted, with little energy to share quality time together. Similarly, financial instability can generate anxiety and recurring arguments, especially if there are differences in the way money is handled. On the other hand, the arrival of a child, although a wonderful experience, they point out, also represents a radical change in the dynamics of the relationship, with new responsibilities and less time for the couple.
Couples therapy helps identify how these external factors are affecting the relationship and provides tools to deal with them together, rather than allowing them to become a source of constant conflict. Working as a team and learning to communicate effectively is key to overcoming these challenges without damaging the emotional bond, the professionals conclude.