No matter how smart the algorithms modern online dating services use, none of them work perfectly. You just need to get used to that fact. And you definitely shouldn’t expect that this or that service will be able to find your perfect candidate for a romantic relationship with perfect accuracy. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately) this is not the case.
If you’ve found someone who seems interesting to you and you want in your life, the most important thing is to take your time. You shouldn’t rush headlong into a first date without getting to know them well. And here you should be asking a completely reasonable question: “How can I get to know this person?” The easiest way is to simply ask them a few good questions. So we thought we’d provide you with a list of suitable and effective questions!
It’s not just what you ask, but how you ask
Communication on the internet, even now in the era of fast speeds and numerous platforms for communication, in most cases takes place via text messaging. We’re far too used to text chat. That’s not really good. This sort of communication is nothing like a “real” date with a person. After all, you don’t see them, you don’t hear their voice and intonation, and can’t evaluate their mood.
Hence our primary bit of advice — use online video chat for communication. If we’re talking about communicating with someone you’ve already met, almost any platform with a video calling feature will do. But if you want to meet new people, be sure to try random video chat:
- Chatous — a minimalist online video chat on which you can search for interesting chat partners by gender and age, describe what sort of chat partners interest you, and what you want to talk about.
- iMeetZu — another very minimalist video chat app, on which there are practically no settings for finding chat partners. But there is an element of surprise. This is what attracts many people to modern chatroulettes.
- CooMeet — #1 video chat with girls with an error-free gender filter. The service has a large and active audience, and all girls’ accounts are verified. That’s why there are no fakes or bots.
- ChatVille — a fairly popular video chat with gender and language filters. The site also has a separate video streaming platform, but this is not always an ideal option for one-on-one dating.
- Chatpig — a chatroulette where you can also filter chat partners by gender and language. You can use video chat without registration, or register to get access to additional features.
- Chatbazaar — a random video chat app with gender, geographic and age filters to refine your search for chat partners. The filters work quite accurately, although not perfectly.
- Meetyou.me — a video chat service that supports not only one-on-one conversations, but also group chats for multiple participants. For many, this is a convenient format that allows you to have a good time in the company of like-minded people.
As you can see, the number of online video chat apps today is very large, and we have listed only a small part of them. If you wish, you will find a lot of interesting alternatives that you will surely like. But let’s move on to our main topic.
Questions for chat partners in video chat to get to know them better
So, you’ve just met a new person online, but you know almost nothing about them. How can you fix that?
Perhaps the worst thing you can do in such a situation is to ask “standard” questions such as “How are you?”, “What are you doing?” and so on. Believe us, people are very tired of such banal questions. That’s why they give the same monosyllabic answers: “Fine,” “I don’t do anything,” etc. Your goal is to get to know the person, give them the opportunity to tell you more about their life, hobbies and interests. Therefore, your questions should involve detailed answers.
For your convenience, we have divided our questions into several categories:
Icebreaker questions:
- How was your day?
- What are you passionate about?
- What are your plans for the weekend?
General interests:
- What is your favorite movie/TV series/book?
- What kind of music do you listen to and have you seen your favorite artist live?
Personal values:
- What is most important to you in life?
- Where do you want to be in five years?
- What qualities do you value in people?
Relationships:
- What type of a relationship are you looking for?
- What are your red flags in a relationship?
- How do you handle conflict?
Easy questions:
- If you could have a superpower, what would it be?
- What book would you like to read, but have never got around to?
- If you had to eat only one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Serious questions:
- What role does family play in your life?
- How do you feel about children?
Completion:
- What do you expect from a date?
- Is there anything you’d like to ask me?
- How would you like to spend a date with me?
Of course you don’t need to bombard your chat partner with absolutely all these questions at once. Focus on the situation and take into account the context and flow of your conversation. If you are not 100% sure a particular question will be appropriate now, don’t ask it now, save it for the future.
Remember also that some conversations and topics are generally best avoided with someone you don’t already know well. For example, we don’t recommend leading your conversation towards the following topics and questions:
- Very personal or intimate questions about sex life, past relationships, traumas, etc.
- Questions about income, financial situation, debts.
- Any provocative questions on political, religious or other controversial topics.
- Direct compliments on appearance or attempts at flirting are best to avoid at first.
- Questions related to stereotypes based on gender, race, nationality, etc.
- Questions that require long and detailed answers about the past or traumatic events.
- Overly intrusive questions about future plans, children, weddings, etc.
- Questions about previous relationships and the reasons for their breakup.
Of course, such topics can be discussed in good time. But only when you already know each other well and both are ready for such discussions. However, sometimes it is better not to touch upon such topics at all. They can often only harm your relationship.
Good conversation takes time to build
The first chat with a new person can be tricky. You may be unsure of yourself, not know what to talk about, and what’s best not to talk about. That’s quite normal. Believe us, the person on the other side of the screen is feeling the same as you. Most likely, they’re also nervous and also do not know what to talk to you about.
Start with something simple and unobtrusive and gradually move on to more serious and relevant topics. Over time, you’ll get to know each other well enough to be completely comfortable. That’s when you can finally go on your first date with confidence. Only in this case, you’ll not face any unpleasant surprises or unjustified expectations.
We hope our advice will be useful to you, and you will find the love you seek. Thanks for reading!